Comfort....It's in the wardrobe

Watching my weight has become motivated by comfort.  When I began losing weight years ago it was because I was uncomfortable.  I was uncomfortable in my clothes and even in my skin.  I don't know if I have ever been comfortable in my skin or if I ever will be.  Even as a pre-teen I remember being self-conscious of my body and I wasn't even overweight.

The kicker for me to lose weight was after Gabriella was born.  Gabriella was my 3rd child and I had gained more weight with the pregnancy of each child.  After Gabriella was born I was bigger than I had ever been in my life.  In order to go to her baptism in an outfit that wasn't maternity I had to go shopping and buy a size I had never had to buy.  I could no longer shop in the ladies department.  I had to shop in the "big women's" department and the outfit I bought was atrocious! You can see it in one of my previous posts where I share my before picture. http://corinnaweightsupport.blogspot.com/2012/05/before-picture.html

What's scary is that the outfit you see in that picture was not the true motivator for me to lose weight.  The outfit that inspired me to lose weight was a pair of jean, short, overalls and short-sleeved shirt that Bryan bought me for Mother's Day.  Gabriella was born in early May, just a couple of weeks before Mother's Day.  Bryan has always been brave about buying my clothes for presents when he thinks that they make a good gift.  He buys nice outfits.  He knows my tastes well.  He spent an hour in the store traveling from the baby department to the women's department to find a "matching" outfit that he could buy for me and my first daughter.  It was such a sweet idea.  He enlisted the help of a young lady in Target to help him.  On Mother's Day morning he gave me the outfits with the intent that Gabriella and I would wear them on my special day.  I opened them. I looked carefully at the sizes.  Gabriella's was just the right size.  Mine was a larger size than I had worn before Gabriella's pregnancy so it should fit too.  Bryan put Gabriella in her outfit as I tried mine on.  I remember sitting on my bed crying because it was too tight. I couldn't even get the shorts on.  I know, I know, I had just given birth 2 weeks before but it was depressing that I couldn't fit into this size.  This was the day that I decided that I couldn't and wouldn't continue on in this fashion.  I had to go out for Mother's Day brunch that day in a maternity outfit because that's all that would fit me in my closet.  Bryan comforted me by saying, "Don't worry honey, we'll get you there."  He has always been supportive and tried to help.  That day, though, I realized that although it was nice that he wanted to help, it was my battle to fight and I needed to stop being the victim and do something about it.

It was comfort that got me to the point where I couldn't take it anymore and it's still comfort that pushes me today. Now, I have clothes in my closet that fit me, clothes that only fit me on certain days and clothes that still don't fit.  Today I am wearing a pair of jeans that only fit me on the good weeks.  That's a good sign. I've had a great week starting with the weekend and that great week allows theses jeans to be comfortable today. They are a reminder of why I like taking care of my body.  I still have a pair of pants in my closet that don't fit me after Samuel's birth.  Thankfully, they are capris so I don't have to try them on again until Spring.

Gabriella grew out of her cute little outfit before I could fit into mine, but I kept mine and looked forward to the day that I could wear it.  When that day came I wore the outfit with pride and continued to wear it regularly. I still know exactly what it looked like.  I can picture it perfectly in my head, but I don't have it anymore.  It became way too big;)

Have a great day,
Corinna

"I desire, then, that in every place the men should pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or argument; also that the women should dress themselves modestly and decently in suitable clothing, not with their hair braided, or with gold, pearls, or expensive clothes, but with good works, as is proper for women who profess reverence for God." -1 Timothy 2:8-9