Thursday, May 31, 2012
Before Picture
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Thanks Mom!
I went to my WW meeting this morning. I don't usually go on Saturday mornings, but I've been having a hard time fitting a WW meeting into my schedule. It's a sad excuse because I live 5 minutes away from Mayfair where there are about 15 meetings offered each week. I'm sure I could make it more often than I pretend. My schedule has been full and I feel like I am always behind on life....dishes, laundry, homeschool, cleaning, gardening, lawn care, volunteer work.....everything. I feel like taking the extra time to go to a WW meeting will just be one more thing to stress me out and put me more behind so I've been avoiding them.
For the past 2 weeks my mom has been calling me and asking me every day, "Did you go to a meeting today?" Each day, I list my excuses and say, "Don't worry, I'll get to one." She is very careful and gentle about it. On Wednesday I realized what she was doing. She was so careful and gently about it that it took me a week and half to see that she was trying to get me to a meeting because she knew that's what I needed. I promised her on Wednesday that I would get to one by the end of the week.
Yesterday, I took my kids to Country Springs Waterpark. They had some gift certificates they had been wanting to use since Christmas and I finally agreed to go. Before we went we rushed out of the house because I was determined to go to my WW meeting on the way there. The kids each brought a book to read while I would sit in my meeting. We got there and the door was locked. The meeting started at 10 when I thought it started at 9. I stood there for a few minutes trying to put it all together. How could I still get to a meeting this week? Oh, well. We went to Country Springs, I got into my bathing suit (it still scares me to do that) and we had a great time.
This morning Samuel got up at 4am. I tried to get him to go back to sleep but after 2 hours, I gave up and got in the shower. There was a WW meeting at Mayfair at 7am so I figured since I was up, I should go. I got ready, grabbed Sammy and out we went. I even weighed in. I had told my mom on Wednesday that I would go but I couldn't promise weighing in. I stayed exactly the same as I was 2 weeks ago when I last attended a meeting. That's an accomplishment. I had some up and down struggles that past 2 weeks. I got things together this week. Every day since this past Monday I have been tracking and sticking to my Points so staying even meant that I had lost the weight that I am sure I gained last weekend. It was a meeting about spicing up your food so you don't get bored and go off plan. It was a decent meeting. I work pretty hard to try keeping things exciting in the food department but it can be hard. It's so much easier to eat the same stuff over and over. I heard lots of ideas about using spices so maybe I'll think about that more.
The point is that I am really glad I went. It was a way to renew my commitment to taking care of myself. Taking care of me has become a thing of the past these days. Everyone else's needs and wants seem to come first. I run around from ball game to choir practice to dance rehearsal to make sure everyone else gets what they need and have very little time to think about my own needs. I went to that meeting today to take care of my needs. I'm glad I did. Thanks Mom!
Corinna
"The elder to the beloved Gaius, whom I love in truth. Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, just as it is well with your soul." -3 John 1:1-2
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Been a long time
I can't believe that it's been 2 weeks since I last posted. Spring has just been crazy in this household. Little league has been taking up a good portion of my evenings and weekends. Although I think of you all often and blog many times a week in my head, the time to sit down at the computer has been very rare.
In addition to the busy life of a homeschooling mother of 5, my grandmother died last week. That, of course, brought in more activities into my life that required my attention. It also brought sadness but I did a pretty good job of controlling my emotions while thinking of my food choices. It's been an emotional 2012. My mom's mom died in January and now my dad's mom died in May. The wonderful thing is that they both had a relationship with Jesus and were ready to go be with Him in heaven when they died. When I look at it that way, I am truly blessed to have such women in my life.
I am also blessed to have a lot of wonderful other people in my life. I am blessed to have a husband who loves and supports me, children, my parents and my siblings. Support is a funny thing sometimes. Lately, on the weight issue I have been feeling like I'm all on my own without anyone to lean on. It doesn't make sense really because I have been on this journey for many years and I have always had great support. The best support has come from my mom and my husband. They are the two people I have always been able to count on to cheer me on.
I think my problem is that I haven't been doing much to cheer about. For the past several weeks I dropped the ball completely. I stopped tracking because I was just plain tired of it. I stopped going to meetings because I didn't want to see the results of my poor choices. I stopped caring about what I ate because I was tired of having to think so hard about what I could and could not eat. I just burnt out completely and decided that since everyone always seemed to think that I have it so under control that no none would care or notice if I stopped doing anything about my weight.
I was right, no one noticed or really cared.......except for me. After weeks of eating what I felt like when I felt like it I had gained pounds and decided that as long as I could fit into my clothes and no one commented on it that it didn't matter. The problem was that I was busier than ever and needed the energy to keep with up with my demanding life. Eating junk doesn't give you any energy. The other problem is that I knew what I was and was not doing and was starting to feel very defeated.
Last Wednesday my mom was telling me about her weight goals and methods. I admitted to her that I had completely given up and needed some motivation. She encouraged me to try her plan to see if it would help. It sounded like a good possibility. Maybe I just needed something different. So I signed up online for the free program that she was using. After signing up and starting to log my food for the day I realized that I already knew what worked for me. On WW I have already gone through many trials and errors to know exactly how many PointsPlus Values I can eat each day to lose or maintain weight and still nurse Samuel. With this fitness pal program I would have to start experimenting all over again. If I didn't have the time and energy to do WW then I didn't want to take the extra time and energy to figure out something new......and WW works for me so why was I trying to change something that works if I just give it a chance. It made no sense to me. So that day I just made a resolve to get back to healthy eating and tracking on my etools.
The next day my mom called me and asked me how my day went. I was proud to tell her that I actually tracked all day and stuck to my points. She was proud of me and I was proud of myself. I used that excitement to get myself back on track for the rest of the week too. I have tracked every day since. I have had some days that my healthy choices have a bit to be desired but at least I'm back on the right track again. I'm glad I caught it before I let it get too out of control. I'm glad I didn't let it get me back to where I was 65 pounds ago.
Keep an eye out for a picture. If I can figure it out, I'm going to post a picture of me before I lost all of my weight. I am using this picture as an anchor to remind me of how far I have come and how I never want to go back there again. I need to stay focused.
Thanks for listening. Comment here to let me know how you are all doing. Anyone struggling? Anyone have some motivation for us all to read? I would love to hear from you. I really love reading the comment that people leave here.
Corinna
"The Rock, his work is perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God, without deceit, just and upright is he; yet his degenerate children have dealt falsely with him, a perverse and crooked generation." -Deuteronomy 32:4-5
In addition to the busy life of a homeschooling mother of 5, my grandmother died last week. That, of course, brought in more activities into my life that required my attention. It also brought sadness but I did a pretty good job of controlling my emotions while thinking of my food choices. It's been an emotional 2012. My mom's mom died in January and now my dad's mom died in May. The wonderful thing is that they both had a relationship with Jesus and were ready to go be with Him in heaven when they died. When I look at it that way, I am truly blessed to have such women in my life.
I am also blessed to have a lot of wonderful other people in my life. I am blessed to have a husband who loves and supports me, children, my parents and my siblings. Support is a funny thing sometimes. Lately, on the weight issue I have been feeling like I'm all on my own without anyone to lean on. It doesn't make sense really because I have been on this journey for many years and I have always had great support. The best support has come from my mom and my husband. They are the two people I have always been able to count on to cheer me on.
I think my problem is that I haven't been doing much to cheer about. For the past several weeks I dropped the ball completely. I stopped tracking because I was just plain tired of it. I stopped going to meetings because I didn't want to see the results of my poor choices. I stopped caring about what I ate because I was tired of having to think so hard about what I could and could not eat. I just burnt out completely and decided that since everyone always seemed to think that I have it so under control that no none would care or notice if I stopped doing anything about my weight.
I was right, no one noticed or really cared.......except for me. After weeks of eating what I felt like when I felt like it I had gained pounds and decided that as long as I could fit into my clothes and no one commented on it that it didn't matter. The problem was that I was busier than ever and needed the energy to keep with up with my demanding life. Eating junk doesn't give you any energy. The other problem is that I knew what I was and was not doing and was starting to feel very defeated.
Last Wednesday my mom was telling me about her weight goals and methods. I admitted to her that I had completely given up and needed some motivation. She encouraged me to try her plan to see if it would help. It sounded like a good possibility. Maybe I just needed something different. So I signed up online for the free program that she was using. After signing up and starting to log my food for the day I realized that I already knew what worked for me. On WW I have already gone through many trials and errors to know exactly how many PointsPlus Values I can eat each day to lose or maintain weight and still nurse Samuel. With this fitness pal program I would have to start experimenting all over again. If I didn't have the time and energy to do WW then I didn't want to take the extra time and energy to figure out something new......and WW works for me so why was I trying to change something that works if I just give it a chance. It made no sense to me. So that day I just made a resolve to get back to healthy eating and tracking on my etools.
The next day my mom called me and asked me how my day went. I was proud to tell her that I actually tracked all day and stuck to my points. She was proud of me and I was proud of myself. I used that excitement to get myself back on track for the rest of the week too. I have tracked every day since. I have had some days that my healthy choices have a bit to be desired but at least I'm back on the right track again. I'm glad I caught it before I let it get too out of control. I'm glad I didn't let it get me back to where I was 65 pounds ago.
Keep an eye out for a picture. If I can figure it out, I'm going to post a picture of me before I lost all of my weight. I am using this picture as an anchor to remind me of how far I have come and how I never want to go back there again. I need to stay focused.
Thanks for listening. Comment here to let me know how you are all doing. Anyone struggling? Anyone have some motivation for us all to read? I would love to hear from you. I really love reading the comment that people leave here.
Corinna
"The Rock, his work is perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God, without deceit, just and upright is he; yet his degenerate children have dealt falsely with him, a perverse and crooked generation." -Deuteronomy 32:4-5
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Just busy and tired
I'm sorry it has been so long since I have posted. I have been so incredibly busy in my life. Little League season is in full swing in our life. Three of my boys play baseball so we have 3 different teams to keep up with. My daughter, Gabriella, is in dance so we have dance lessons and soon a recital to add into the schedule. Last weekend I spoke at a homeschool conference so there were preparations for that. Bryan and I have been busy working and volunteering at church for various ministries. It seems like the list of things that take up our time just does not end.
There have also been some tough things going on in my life. I have been sick as well as the rest of my family. We have been fighting ear infections, colds and the flu. I can actually say for the first time in about a month that everyone in the house is healthy all on the same day. Some of my friends have been going through some tough times so I have been spending some of my energy and time praying for and helping them. As I write this, I have 2 family members that are nearing death.
Have I given you enough reasons yet? I am emotionally and physically drained. I have been struggling to focus my energies and time on weight loss. I have been struggling with the idea of losing any more weight at all. Here is what I have decided. I'm not going to continue losing weight at this time. As you know if you have been keeping up with my blog, I am already under my WW goal. I was just trying to lose a few more pounds to be a little bit more comfortable. I do believe that some day I will get back on the losing track because I really am more comfortable a little less on the scale but this is not the time. This is a perfect time for maintenance. My body has been trying to maintain for quite some time but I've been fighting it. I've run out of fight. My doctor tells me that I am at a perfectly healthy weight and so does WW so I am going to let it be....for now. I'm quite content with my decision. It takes the pressure off. I look good and feel good so I need to start feeling good mentally about my decision too.
I will still blog when I get the chance. I am hoping that I get a chance more often than I have lately. I will still love to hear from you and share my journey with you. Frankly, it's not much easier to maintain than it is to lose so I still have a lot effort that I will need to give.
So I guess what I'm saying is that I have reached a temporary goal!:)
Corinna
"but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." -Isaiah 40:31
There have also been some tough things going on in my life. I have been sick as well as the rest of my family. We have been fighting ear infections, colds and the flu. I can actually say for the first time in about a month that everyone in the house is healthy all on the same day. Some of my friends have been going through some tough times so I have been spending some of my energy and time praying for and helping them. As I write this, I have 2 family members that are nearing death.
Have I given you enough reasons yet? I am emotionally and physically drained. I have been struggling to focus my energies and time on weight loss. I have been struggling with the idea of losing any more weight at all. Here is what I have decided. I'm not going to continue losing weight at this time. As you know if you have been keeping up with my blog, I am already under my WW goal. I was just trying to lose a few more pounds to be a little bit more comfortable. I do believe that some day I will get back on the losing track because I really am more comfortable a little less on the scale but this is not the time. This is a perfect time for maintenance. My body has been trying to maintain for quite some time but I've been fighting it. I've run out of fight. My doctor tells me that I am at a perfectly healthy weight and so does WW so I am going to let it be....for now. I'm quite content with my decision. It takes the pressure off. I look good and feel good so I need to start feeling good mentally about my decision too.
I will still blog when I get the chance. I am hoping that I get a chance more often than I have lately. I will still love to hear from you and share my journey with you. Frankly, it's not much easier to maintain than it is to lose so I still have a lot effort that I will need to give.
So I guess what I'm saying is that I have reached a temporary goal!:)
Corinna
"but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." -Isaiah 40:31
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)