Been a long time

I can't believe that it's been 2 weeks since I last posted.  Spring has just been crazy in this household.  Little league has been taking up a good portion of my evenings and weekends.  Although I think of you all often and blog many times a week in my head, the time to sit down at the computer has been very rare.

In addition to the busy life of a homeschooling mother of 5, my grandmother died last week.  That, of course, brought in more activities into my life that required my attention. It also brought sadness but I did a pretty good job of controlling my emotions while thinking of my food choices.  It's been an emotional 2012. My mom's mom died in January and now my dad's mom died in May.  The wonderful thing is that they both had a relationship with Jesus and were ready to go be with Him in heaven when they died.  When I look at it that way, I am truly blessed to have such women in my life.

I am also blessed to have a lot of wonderful other people in my life.  I am blessed to have a husband who loves and supports me, children, my parents and my siblings.  Support is a funny thing sometimes.  Lately, on the weight issue I have been feeling like I'm all on my own without anyone to lean on.  It doesn't make sense really because I have been on this journey for many years and I have always had great support.  The best support has come from my mom and my husband.  They are the two people I have always been able to count on to cheer me on.

I think my problem is that I haven't been doing much to cheer about.  For the past several weeks I dropped the ball completely.  I stopped tracking because I was just plain tired of it.  I stopped going to meetings because I didn't want to see the results of my poor choices.  I stopped caring about what I ate because I was tired of having to think so hard about what I could and could not eat.  I just burnt out completely and decided that since everyone always seemed to think that I have it so under control that no none would care or notice if I stopped doing anything about my weight.

I was right, no one noticed or really cared.......except for me.  After weeks of eating what I felt like when I felt like it I had gained pounds and decided that as long as I could fit into my clothes and no one commented on it that it didn't matter.  The problem was that I was busier than ever and needed the energy to keep with up with my demanding life.  Eating junk doesn't give you any energy.  The other problem is that I knew what I was and was not doing and was starting to feel very defeated.

Last Wednesday my mom was telling me about her weight goals and methods.  I admitted to her that I had completely given up and needed some motivation.  She encouraged me to try her plan to see if it would help.  It sounded like a good possibility. Maybe I just needed something different.  So I signed up online for the free program that she was using.  After signing up and starting to log my food for the day I realized that I already knew what worked for me.  On WW I have already gone through many trials and errors to know exactly how many PointsPlus Values I can eat each day to lose or maintain weight and still nurse Samuel.  With this fitness pal program I would have to start experimenting all over again.  If I didn't have the time and energy to do WW then I didn't want to take the extra time and energy to figure out something new......and WW works for me so why was I trying to change something that works if I just give it a chance.  It made no sense to me. So that day I just made a resolve to get back to healthy eating and tracking on my etools.

The next day my mom called me and asked me how my day went.  I was proud to tell her that I actually tracked all day and stuck to my points.  She was proud of me and I was proud of myself.  I used that excitement to get myself back on track for the rest of the week too.  I have tracked every day since.  I have had some days that my healthy choices have a bit to be desired but at least I'm back on the right track again.  I'm glad I caught it before I let it get too out of control.  I'm glad I didn't let it get me back to where I was 65 pounds ago.

Keep an eye out for a picture.  If I can figure it out, I'm going to post a picture of me before I lost all of my weight.  I am using this picture as an anchor to remind me of how far I have come and how I never want to go back there again.  I need to stay focused.

Thanks for listening.  Comment here to let me know how you are all doing.  Anyone struggling?  Anyone have some motivation for us all to read?  I would love to hear from you.  I really love reading the comment that people leave here.

Corinna

"The Rock, his work is perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God, without deceit, just and upright is he; yet his degenerate children have dealt falsely with him, a perverse and crooked generation." -Deuteronomy 32:4-5